Curb Appeal
If I concentrate, it’s almost like being back inside the old house.
Scent of fresh-baked cookies floating through the air.
Soundtrack of laughter from the living room.
It really was the best, huh?
Weirdly, never a question we ask ourselves in the moment.
Yup, turns out I pretty much had it all. What more could anyone want? Well, maybe just a pair of clear eyes. To snap all the mental photographs. Because, looking back now, those days were my overflowing cup.
Warm blanket vibes? Check.
Silliness and fun? Absolutely.
House that felt like a home? Big time.
Strange how we always need to lose something to see it more clearly. Why do we all need that trait? In fairness, it’s possible the “good old days” are just a figment of my imagination. We all romanticize the past. But looking back at it now…
I think maybe I was special.
Yeah, yeah…I know.
Sounds like an arrogant thing to say.
And, to be clear, I don’t feel the same way now. But, back then? I think maybe I was. Because everyone who came into the house seemed to smile differently when they saw me. All of them. Embarrassing to admit? Sure. But it almost felt like people would gather around me. As if I grabbed their attention. They’d make some comments about my looks and whatnot. The kind of thing we take for granted in our youth. Because it all fades so fast. Somehow…it kind of just felt like I made them happy. Like maybe there was something about me. Oh, and I’ll never forget the flashy ways they helped dress me up. With such care. They made me shine so bright…it almost felt like I was glowing.
Or maybe this is all just my imagination…
The thing is, it feels so real. Deep down, I know it was. Just gets camouflaged by the fogginess of doubt which comes with age. Our weird justifications. Because I’m torn and tattered now. Trying to convince myself that maybe life was always this hard. As if that will ease the sting of disappointment. Ease the longing.
But here’s reality…
It wasn’t just special. Those days kept getting better and better. So, do I wish that could’ve lasted? Oh yeah. Being adored. It almost started to feel like I was the star of the house. Possibly even the reason for their smiles. Come on…did I really think it would stay that way forever? Doesn’t matter now. Because time moves on. And I guess it was just a season. A glimpse that’s almost too good to be true.
Then it’s gone.
I was surrounded by so many gifts. Lit up so bright that you’d see me twinkling in the dark. Once upon a time.
And now?
Well, it’s colder out here. Feels a bit lonely. Almost starting to think I’ve been discarded. Look, I know all of us are decaying gradually. The thing is…
It doesn’t feel so gradual to me.
Been having a hard time recognizing myself these days.
But let’s not get all mushy here. Because there’s no way to possibly thank you enough for all those moments. I had it better than anyone. You brought me right into your home. Treated me like your most special guest. And it truly was the highlight of my life.
Maybe we can do it again one day?
Love Always,
Your Christmas Tree On The Curb
