We hear the words all the time…
“A matter of life and death.”
Nah.
Earning miles to go on fun trips is a passion we all share…
…but it’s not a matter of life and death.
Sure, bloggers lie to your face so they can make money from you…
…but that’s not a matter of life and death.
And so on.
But maybe I’m wrong…
None of us are going to live forever (as far as I know).
We can all see clearly how time doesn’t just fly…it accelerates with each year.
In the blink of an eye, we’ll be gone from here.
Maybe all of this daily stuff adds up.
Maybe…just maybe…it’s actually a matter of life and death.
Here’s what I’m getting at…
My grandfather died a few days ago.
He was the best man I’ve ever known.
Do you remember when you were a kid? And I’m not talking about remembering it as an adult. But can you actually go back in your mind and see your childhood from the eyes of your past?
I can.
And I remember the experience of living in such a small universe. One where my mom and dad were the sun and the moon. That’s what it’s like to be a kid. Mine was an unhealthy world as my parents were battling their own insecurities. I had a hard time seeing anything beyond that universe…seeing better possibilities…
But, as luck would have it, I was related to my grandfather.
Have you ever known someone who stays young no matter how old they get? I’m seen as a pretty energetic guy but I could never hold a candle to him. Even in retirement, my grandfather bounced out of bed at the crack of dawn. He’d throw on his favorite safari shirt and get to his long list of passions – reading, brisk walks, milkshakes, cracking jokes, playing cards, helping people, and so on. I remember those early visits to my childhood home in West Virginia. Standing that close to a person who was so optimistic and SO alive…it was genuinely shocking. That wasn’t an energy I was used to. In my universe, there wasn’t anyone else like him.
I remember one day, years later, when I was in high school. I was supposed to pick him up from the library at 3:00. Well, being the flaky teenager that I was…it totally slipped my mind. Those were the days before cell phones, so I finally showed up at the library after 4:30. Damn. Over an hour late. Already filled with teenage angst and self-loathing on a daily basis, I was feeling like a total dumbass in that moment. He must have seen me hang my head because, as I walked into the periodical section, he greeted me with a smile that lit up the room. I apologized profusely (and awkwardly) but he stopped me and said, “No. You don’t understand. I had the BEST afternoon here.” And he proceeded to tell the tale of his “exciting” adventure waiting in a library. Looking back, I don’t even know if a word of it was true. All I know is that he didn’t want his grandson feeling sad in that moment.
When he wasn’t paying attention, I used to study him. This was a different kind of dude. It was confusing. How could anyone live a life without insecurity running the show?
I remember watching him at a dinnertime debate. Everybody was trying to prove how much they knew. Loudly. Trying to be right about some historical event…to win an unspoken “smartest person in the room” contest. My grandfather (the most well-read person I’d ever known) just sat there listening respectfully. His eyes lit up and a warm smile crossed his face. He didn’t see a table full of arguing buffoons. He just saw the people he loved sitting down for a nice meal together. He looked at them as if they were history professors at Harvard. It was only when someone finally asked him a question that he gave his response to the debate…and jaws hit the floor as we realized the quiet, old, bald man was a walking encyclopedia.
To be around him was a gift. Kids can’t see the size of the world outside of their small universe. They don’t understand how many possibilities exist – who they can be, what they can do, and how they can live. It’s no surprise that most children become like their parents as they grow into adults. Being fortunate enough to be around my grandfather changed the course of my life. It expanded my universe…
I saw what a heart that big looked like…I learned the difference between selfish kindness and real kindness…and I got a close-up look at what self-respect was.
I saw it all in him.
I learned it because of him.
Maybe all of our daily stuff isn’t a matter of life and death, but I watched how my grandfather lived his days…
He took his limited hours on earth and added them up into a masterpiece.
Like him, we’ll all reach our deaths…
But how many of us will really live our lives?
I don’t know. But I know my grandfather would want that for you.
Have a great weekend, nerds!
